Tuesday, December 31, 2019

Pink in Blue (English)


If by being bullied I can get your attention, I’m willing to be bullied my whole life...
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image courtesy of sites.psu.edu



“Wahyu!” a boy with a muscular body waved at me, “Here!” he shouted.

I smiled then walked fast to him, “Sorry for being late.” I said after sitting on a chair across from him.

“It’s okay.” He smiled, showing his dimples on both of his cheeks which made him look so gorgeous. I felt my heart skip at the sight. He was so fucking gorgeous!

His name was Raka Mahendra, my classmate. He was the student body president of my school as well as the captain of our basketball team. Aside from having ideal body and breath-taking face, he quite had the brain. He was the only student in our school whom had been sent to some national level Olympics. He was the pride of our school. The teachers loved him. The female students were crazy about him. And the male students wished they were him.

He was really popular, no doubt about it. He was the center of attention, the subject of gossips. I guess, every single girl in our school, idolized him. I meant, who wouldn’t? He was perfect! 10 out of 10! Well, maybe 9.5, he was human after all. He did have his share of flaws. He was a playboy, a heart-stealer, and a heart-breaker. To be fair, with a face and a brain like his, it’s hard not to be, right?

Out of hundreds of girls who were, literally, crazy about him, only a few who were lucky enough to get his attention. And by a few, I meant a lot! He was never in a relationship with the same girl for more than a month and he was never single for more than a week. Maybe I sounded exaggerating, but it was true! He was such a player.

He was always surrounded by girls, and it made me jealous...

There were so many students in my school, more than 1000, but Raka was the only one who wanted to be friends with me. He used to say that I was so simple and innocent, and was fun to talk to, unlike most of other students who idolized him like he was some kind of God and it made it difficult to have real conversations with them!

Little did he know, he was a kind of God to me too. I was just better at hiding my true feelings.

I had been friends with Raka since the first day of School Orientation. That time, I was bullied by my seniors. They asked me to do inhuman stuff, like sticking a paper with “I’m a whore” written on it on a fat girl’s back, smelling one of the most nasty-looking male seniors’ armpit, and many others. Raka, who was in the same group as me, got fed up with them. He stood up for me. Since he looked stronger than those seniors, they then released me. That was the first time I talked to him and shook his warm hand. That was the first time I felt something in my heart, which I thought was called love.

I couldn’t express how happy I was when I found out that Raka and I were in the same class. He was always there for me whenever I was made fun of, by my other classmates or seniors. I had no idea why they hated me that much. Did my abnormality disturb them? Who cared anyway? As long I had Raka by my side, I had nothing to worry about.

“Hey, if this isn’t our beloved couple!” a group of male seniors walked past us, and one of them mocked us.

I felt my fists clench, but tried to stay calm.

“Your girlfriend is so beautiful. Where did you find her? In Pramuka Street? Haha.” They all laughed out loud.

“Does it have anything to do with you?” Raka stared at them one by one. They stopped laughing at once. Even though he had a sweet face, Raka could look so scary when he was angry.

“Relax man, it’s just a joke.” they all walked away.

“Thanks, Ka.” I spoke slowly.

“You shouldn’t be this weak! Stand up to them so they will stop bothering you!”

If by being bullied I can get your attention, I’m willing to be bullied my whole life...

“Babe...” a sweet voice came from behind me. I looked back and saw a beautiful student wearing super tight uniform, showing off her perfect figure, “I’ve been looking for you.” she said and then she walked graciously, like a queen, towards Raka, and then sat down close to him. I could feel I’m burning inside. Stay away from my Raka, you little bitch!

“Babe, what are you doing here with this freak? You know I don’t like it.” That girl, Anita, whispered, but loud enough for me to hear, perhaps she did it on purpose.

“Wahyu, not freak!” Raka, as always, took my side whenever his girlfriend said a bad thing about me.

“Hmmm... whatever. Anyway, let’s have lunch together. Just the two of us.”

“I’ve promised Wahyu a treat.”

Anita made a face, but Raka couldn’t care less, “Fine.” She said and we ordered something to eat.

Then three of us ate our lunch. Anita spoon-fed Raka and asked him to do the same. She wanted to tell the world that that month, she was the lucky girl, knowing that her place would be taken by another girl in no time.

I had seen that scene so often, but still, I couldn’t help being jealous. I wondered if I would ever get a chance. Stupid I was. I had decided since day 1 that I would never confess this feeling to Raka. I knew he wouldn’t be mine, he would never be mine, not in this life, because... because we were born in the same sex.


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