What If Tomorrow Never Comes

“Tomorrow.” Andri clenched his right hand into a tight fist while looking at the street below, at a long-haired girl who was casually riding her scooter. Andri didn’t know what her name was, or where she came from. All that he knew about her was that she was a student of Visual Arts Department; it could be seen from the jacket she always wore.

Image courtesy of wallpapercave.com

“I’m sick of your tomorrows. Tomorrow, tomorrow, when is tomorrow, exactly?” Satria, his roommate had begun to feel annoyed with Andri’s cowardice.

The girl turned left at the cross road near their lodging house, and then she was out of sight. But Andri, was still mesmerized by her beauty, especially her long black wavy hair which flew around as the wind played with it. He stood still; his eyes were half closed and he took a deep long breath. He tried to fantasize the girl’s face, though it was nothing, but a blur. Yeah, he hadn’t seen her face clearly because she always wore a helmet, a girl who cared about safety in riding, Andri thought. Yet, he couldn’t help but fell in love with her. Why? He couldn’t find any answer.

That girl, that mysterious girl, had stolen his heart right from the first time he laid his eyes on her, around three months earlier. Andri could even distinguish the sound of her scooter which, according to Satria, wasn’t different from other scooters.

“Hello?” Satria waved his hand in front of Andri’s face, “I’m talking to you!”

Andri was taken aback, but he could manage a little idiotic smile, “Yeah?”

Satria playfully hit Andri’s head, “When will you talk to her? Aren’t you bored of just looking at her like a tiger looking at his prey? You need to take an action!”

“But... I’m afraid.”

“Of what?”

“I don’t know.” But he did know what he was afraid of. He was afraid of rejection.

The next day, at the same place and the same time, Andri leaned against the balcony’s fence on the second floor of his lodging house. He looked at the street below and waited impatiently ‘till he finally spotted her. It seemed like the girl could sense his presence, she looked up and saw Andri. Their eyes met for a nano second. A very short period of time, but long enough to make Andri’s heart jump out from its place.

“Damn!” he cursed after the girl disappeared at the crossroad, “I have to talk to her! Tomorrow, yeah tomorrow!”

Andri walked into his room then he took his laptop. He connected it to the lodging house’s wifi and accessed Google. He typed some words on the search bar then pushed the enter button. The next second, the monitor displayed the search results. He clicked on the first result, read the article, smiled like an idiot, then continued reading. He did the same to the other few results.

“Yeah,” Andri looked satisfied, “I have read some tips on how to talk to a girl for the first time. Tomorrow, I’ll know her name!” He smiled confidently.

Alas, not long after that his confidence vanished into thin air, nothing was left except some questions which had actually been answered by the articles he had just read: “how should I start the conversation? Should I stop her in front of the lodging house? Andri shook his head, he didn’t want to be mistaken as a criminal. Should I follow her to her lodging house? He shook his head again, he didn’t want her to think that he was a stalker. And, what if she doesn’t like me? She had seen me yesterday, what if she thinks I am a bad person? What if it I try to approach her, she will be afraid of me? Then she thinks of moving from this area?

There was a knock at the door. Half-heartedly, Andri walked toward the door and opened it, “Sup?”

Satria gave one of his mysterious smiles.

“What?”

Without answering, he entered Andri’s room, sat on his bed and drank up his Pocari Sweat, “Good news.”

“What good news?” Andri sat next to Satria.

“I know her name.”

“What?” Andi’s voice was louder than he intended.

Satria smiled a smile which looked more like a grin, “You wanna know?” teased him.

“Ya.”

Satria moved his face closer to Andri’s, looked like he was going to kiss him, “SECRET” he laughed out loud, then ran out to the balcony. Andri ran after him.

“You have to talk to her today, no more tomorrows.” Satria said while looking at the street.

“What’s her name?”

Satria turned his face to Andri, “Come on dude, you are guy! You should have guts to make the first move!”

“How?”

“That, my friend,” Satria patted Andri’s back, “You have to find out yourself. Haha.”

Andri couldn’t sleep that night. He tossed and turned on his bed, unable to find to comfortable position to rest. He felt so disturbed, so helpless. The girl’s blurry face kept on taunting him. Satria’s right, he talked to himself, I have to make the first move.

“She’s still single.” Satria said earlier that day, when the two of them were standing on the balcony, facing the empty street below them.

“How do you know?”

“She was Mira’s high school friend.”

“Really?”

Satria nodded his head, “I couldn’t see you like this, so I made an investigation about her. I asked some friends about a girl studying Visual Arts with her characteristics. Mira recognized her at once. Her name is ... ooopss..” Satria covered his mouth.

“Tell me.”

“You have to find it out yourself. But trust me, she is still single. The last time she was in a relationship was in 11^th grade. She is so kind, sweet, humble, smart, diligent; in short, a wife material.”

           

Andri kicked away the idea of sleeping. He got up and opened the only window in his small room, letting in the cold November air. He had decided that he would talk to that girl the following day, no more delaying, no more tomorrows. In fact, he had practiced his pick up line in front of the mirror. A smile found his way to his face, just a few more hours, then I’ll know her name.

Unlike the previous days in the previous months, that day Andri stood near the gates of his lodging house. He didn’t care if he looked weird or anything, he had made up his mind that he would talk to that girl.

The wind blew slowly and his ears caught the familiar sound of her scooter. He looked at the street and there she was, riding her scooter at a quite high speed. Andri’s heart began to pound in his chest. Several beads of cold sweat wetted his temples and forehead.

Time slowed down, everything happened in a slow motion. The girl was just a few meters from where Andri stood. And as expected, he lost his confidence. He stood still, like a statue. He let her pass by him, just like that. He didn’t even smile, or wave at her. He missed his chance, again.

Fine, Andri looked down and clenched both of his hands into fists, I’ll do it tomo... Andri couldn’t finish the sentence in his head as he heard a crash sound. It was so loud, and the same time he felt the earth trembled beneath him. Quickly, he turned his head to where the sound came from and he almost couldn’t believe his eyes. There, lied on the ground, covered with blood, was his dream girl. Andri ran to her at his highest speed, making his way through the crowd that had fast gathered around her. He kneeled near her body and ordered someone to call an ambulance. Everyone looked at one another, too panic to react, making dizzying noise instead of doing what they had to do, “Damn!” Andri screamed in frustration. He took his phone and dialed 118.

“Please hang on.” Andri held the girl’s hand. She looked so weak and she could hardly breathe, “Don’t die.” He whispered. Andri had never been a religious person. The truth was, he wasn’t even a believer. But that time, he muttered a prayer under his breath. He prayed to the God he had never believed in. Please, please, don’t take her.

The girl tried to say something, but was unable to do so. Andri felt so hopeless, the girl he loved was dying in front of him but he couldn’t do anything about it. He could just wait, for a miracle. But the miracle he needed so bad didn’t come. The girl closed her eyes, and never opened them again.