Never Ever Come Back

He came back.

 

The person who once had left me was now back again. Offering love. Saying he was only mine. Giving me the reason why he left me.

Image courtesy of Asalesguy

 

“My ex threatened me she would commit suicide. I panicked. I was forced to leave you.” the words slid from his mouth as tears flowed from my eyes.

              

Why was it only now that he told me? We met almost every day since that incident one year ago. Why now, after I struggled to try to forget it even though we were always in the same classes? Why not that day when I cried in front of him, asking for an explanation why he ended our relationship?

              

He wiped the tears flowing down my cheeks, and then kissed my forehead gently. My eyes were closed, enjoying our first touch since we broke up a year ago. He kissed me many times; my forehead, cheeks, and finally my lips. I was silent, did not dare to move, did not dare open my eyes, I did not dare to kiss him back.

 

I was afraid that this was just my hallucination, only imagination created by my insane brain.

              

“I still love you very much.” he whispered in my ear, his warm breath igniting a strange sensation in me.

              

“Sorry that I hurt you.” his voice sounded hoarse. I felt like he was struggling not to cry, “I'm sorry.” he sat on the floor in front of me, while I sat on the edge of my bed, “I'm really sorry.”

 

I looked down and covered my face with my hands. Why now? That's all my brain could say, but my lips were tightly closed; my vocal cords couldn’t produce any meaningful sounds.

              

“I love you.” he rose and sat next to me. I then felt his warm lips kiss the top of my head, “I love you so much.” he put his arms around my shoulders, while I could only bow even more. I didn’t know what to do.

             

“Look at me.” he pulled my hand a little forcefully, “Please stop crying. I can't see you like this.”

              

“Don’t look at me then!” my vocal cords finally functioned again, even though the sound it produced was very hoarse. I couldn’t even recognize that voice as my own.

              

He hugged me again, this time very tight, making it rather difficult for me to breathe. He kissed my hair many times, “I still love you very much.”

              

This time, my defense collapsed. I could no longer act as if nothing happened. My heart was cheering. He was back. The man I always mentioned in my prayers was beside me again! I hugged him back, he was thinner than when he was last in my arms.

              

He loosened his embrace, looking right into my eyes, I noticed his eyes were red and teary, “You look beautiful.” he smiled and then kissed my lips again, “I missed you.”

              

“Me too. You don't know how much I missed you.” I’d missed him, a lot.

             

“Sorry if I still love you. You must be happy with him.” his words startled me, waking me up from my sweet dream.

            

I already had a new boyfriend. There was a small ring with the name of my boyfriend written on it in the ring finger of my left hand. I shed more and more tears. There was a suffocating pain in my chest.

              

The man beside held my hands, “I’ll always take care of you even though you already belong to someone else. I’ll always love you.” he kissed my forehead before finally going out of my room and closed the door slowly.

 

 

              

I fell ill that night. Suddenly, I got a light fever and a headache.

              

“What happened to you?” he sat on the edge of my bed while rubbing cajuput oil and softly massaging my forehead and temples.

              

My body shivered with cold. He pulled my blanket over my neck, "You should sleep now."

              

“Don't leave me again, please.” I said while staring at the white ceiling of my room. I couldn’t look at face of the man that I loved so much, especially when considering that now I was already bound to someone else.

              

“Don’t you feel sorry for your boyfriend? He’s a very nice man. I'm sure he can make you happy.” he smiled, I didn’t see it, but I could feel it, “I should go now, get well soon, okay?” he kissed my lips quickly and then left me again.

              

Tears didn't stop flowing from my eyes, my chest was tight. My heart ached, very painful, as if there had been a sharp dagger stabbing it.

              

I took my cellphone which I put next to my pillow. I called the man whose name was beautifully engraved on my ring. I heard some disturbing noise as he answered my call, “Hello.” he said.

              

“Hey, what are you doing?”

              

“I’m with the guys. Just text me, ok?”

              

“I'm sick, I need you.”

              

“Oh, take some med and sleep. I’ll call you later.”

              

He hung up without even waiting for answer. My heart was sinking. How could he be that ignorant? I was sick, but instead of comforting me, he was busy with his friends. Turned out I wasn’t that important to him.

              

I sat up, leaning on the wall, and then I contacted the man who’d just massaged my head, “Hey. What’s up?” his voice at the other end made me a little calmer.

            

“He’s so bad. He doesn't care about me. Why does he never understand me? I am sick. I need someone, but instead he is busy with his friends. He’s so bad! Why do I have such a bad boyfriend?”

              

“Hey, calm down, I'm coming now, okay?”

              

I shook my head weakly, “No need.”

              

“I'll be there in fifteen minutes.” he hung up.

 

 

             

There was a knock on my door, “Come in.”

              

The brown door opened and I saw him. I saw him almost all the time, but that night he looked very handsome. He wore a black shirt and long jeans which I thought suited him so well.

              

“Here, I brought you some turmeric rice. You have to eat now, okay.” he put a packet of rice and a glass of mineral water on my desk.

             

 I shook my head slowly.

              

“You must eat. Do I need to feed you?” he smiled and helped me get up from my bed.

              

“I'm not hungry.”

              

“I've come all the way here, bringing rice for you and now you don’t want to eat? You don’t have a heart!”

              

“What did you just say? I don’t have a heart? Who doesn’t have a heart? Me or you?” I stared at him sharply, “You left me without a single word. We always met in class, but you keep quiet, trying to avoid me, as if we were strangers. You hacked my Facebook account, you let that girl insult me, uploaded a photo of me and said that I was the third person in your relationship! Who doesn’t have a heart?” I didn’t know from where I found the energy to shout like that.

              

“Are you done shouting?”

              

I turned my gaze to another corner of my room.

              

He pulled my head into his face, “She was in my boarding house at the time, asking me to come back to her. I didn’t want to, but she threatened me she would commit suicide. She even ate some detergent in my bathroom!”

              

“Why didn’t you just let her die?” I shouted, not caring that my screams would disturb the other people in the boarding house.

             

 “You don't understand the situation at that time! If she’d died, I wouldn’t be here, maybe I’d end up in prison.” He shouted back, but a second later he hugged me, “I'm here now, with you.” he whispered.

              

I hugged him back, “I don’t want to lose you again.”

              

“You already have him.”

              

“I don't love him the way I love you.”

              

I felt a kiss in my hair, “Now you eat, okay.”

              

I took the turmeric rice that the man had brought and ate it slowly.

 

             

I took off the silver ring which had been binding my finger for almost a year. I was free from him, but somehow my heart still hurt. That must have been very unfair to my boyfriend. He’d been nice to me all this time. Apart from his hobby spending too much time with his friends, he had no other faults.

              

“Sorry.” That's all I could say after explaining my situation to him.

             

“It’s okay. At least I heard it from you, not from others. I hope you’re happy with him.”

             

I avoided him from that day on, and so did he.

 

 

             

I hugged the body of the man who was lying next to me very tightly. I didn't want to lose him again and I couldn’t imagine what would happen to me if he went away.

             

“Do you love me?” I whispered.

              

“Always.” he leaned over to me and kissed my lips. I kissed him back. His right hand searched for my left hand and then squeezed it hard. We were both lost in that kiss.

              

That night, he slept in my room.

 

 

             

I was never that happy before.

              

He met me every day and stayed in my room several times, but of course we didn’t dare to do risky things that could ruin our future.

              

"Are you happy?" I asked him one day.

              

He looked into my eyes, “Do I need to answer it?”

              

I smiled and shook my head, “No.” And then I kissed him. He held my waist and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, "I really love you."

              

“I love you more.”

 

 

Not more than three weeks later, it was all over ...

              

“I wanna be free. I realized I can’t afford to have a girlfriend for now. Let’s just be friends.”

              

Tears dripped slowly, but I wiped them quickly, “Thank you.” the word foolishly slid out of my mouth.

              

He turned around, and walked away. Oh God, how I wanted to run and to bury my face in his sturdy back. How I wanted to hug him and told him to stay. I loved him. I loved him so much.

              

He continued walking steadily, step by step, further and further away.

              

“Wait ...” I shouted.

              

He turned around, looking at me, “Anything else?”

              

I tried to put a smile on my lips wet with tears, “This time, never ever come back.”

 

 

 

Note (added later)

Two days later he was with another girl in his room. GOOD JOB, BRO!!!